An ordinary Sunday afternoon

Our little family is complete
Once more
The traveller’s slid into the warm bath
Of home
Deep delight writ large on her face

A stop at Piha, to keep jet lag in tow
A few wild rides on the waves, grateful for the surf rescuers on voluntary duty
In the rough and messy sea

The new abode and garden admired with glee and thrill
Then it’s down to business getting the barbie underway

Lighting and tending the charcoal,
Chopping, oiling, chatting
Lounging on the deck
Home-made cider lauded, sipped
Sharing stories
Re-connecting

Vegan sausage sizzle white bread
Tomato sauce and charred veggies
The order of the day
Onion-flavoured watermelon slices and
Bliss-balls a fitting finish

The pure joy of
Just hanging out together…
Family, on an ordinary Summer afternoon

17/02/19

Grief

I’ve been very aware of grief, my grief, in recent months. Not only because of my mother’s death, but also because of the support I experienced at work in the immediacy of that situation, because of the sense of community I have experienced in various groups I am part of and because of new and deep friendships I have been graced with. While the latter may seem unlikely partners of grief, for me these situations have highlighted the ache of the lack of a sense of belonging and connection I have felt in earlier times in my life. So here is a poem about grief – and what can happen when I remember to turn towards it and feel it, rather than trying to avoid or escape the pain of it.

Grief

With no-one around
Nowhere to go
Nothing to do,
But some work
For which the focus
Is all but
Totally
Shredded

Mind
Heart
And body
Have a field day
With restlessness
Agitation
Circling thoughts
With longing to
Feel connected
With shame
Popping into
The ring
Once more

Finally,
Many hours
Of distraction
And discomfort
Later,
Something
Wakes up:
Let me FEEL
What’s going on….

What tumbles
Out and
Into my space
Are the deepest
Saddest
Feelings of
disconnection
Isolation and
Loss
Along with the
Deepest
Saddest
Tears…

And longing
For being held
And held
And held
Some more..
Warmly
Lovingly
Safely

For being seen
And welcome:
My fragile
Little
Self

Feeling
The sorrow,
The sore
Raw
Emotion
Of loss
And grief

In wave
After wave,
Rolling in
Swirling
Crashing
Sucking back
At the core
Of my life..

Until they
Slowly
Slowly
Diminish
Reduce..
Relinquish
Their power

Until
Finally
Softness
And stillness
Land and
Find their place
On fine
Warm sand
On a calm
And present
Shore
Once more

Feeling seen
Held
And welcome