Haunting words

“This is what I want to
stay alive for”
Words tumbling out
On the cliffs
Above Bethells Beach
Deeply affected
By the beauty
Of the place..
In search of healing
After surgery
Sixteen years ago

How can a mother
Facing her own mortality,
Say THAT?

Repeating the story
A number of times
In spite of myself,
In safe company only,
As if hearing it
One more time,
As if the honesty
Of the telling

Might lift the veil
Of bewilderment
And shame..
Might shine the light
Of insight..
Might redeem my
Parenting,
Somehow

This time
Sixteen years on
Infused by love
Of nature’s beauty
The story surfaces
Once again
Feeling the puzzling
Truth of it
Once more

Slowly understanding dawns

Wanting to stay alive
For this..

Feeling
The zinging
Raw beauty,
The absolute
Truth
Of Nature
Elating
Every cell

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