As I walked into ‘her patch’,
she sped away
from the watering bowl,

but only to rest, for a moment,
on the netting pole
in a vege bed
close by,
beady eyes
intently
watching me ..
 
Stopping,
I invited her back
to her bath,
a mere meter away,
just a soft sideways glance,
holding my breath

she returned
bravely,
and splattered
and splashed
ducking under,
fluttering and
spluttering
time and time again
drops flying
everywhere
not taking
that much notice
of me …

joy and delight,
a moment of freedom
and safety
together

Soft and gentle rain
Finds it way
Through the forest
Gulleys
And cracks
To the seed
That has not seen
The light of day,
Deeply buried
Under stories
And other protective
Layers,
Since the day
These were created

Delicate gentle rain,
Reaching
The seed that
Finally feels
The nourishing care
And welcome
And knows it is safe
To respond and
To start showing its
Full
Tender and
Vibrant
Self,
As nature
Intended it to be
All along

Opening your heart
to remembering,
receiving
divine love and grace

nature responds
in abundant generosity,
raining down
bubbling up
from all directions

the air you breathe,
a breeze,
the sun’s warmth
kissing your skin
through a patchy clouded
blue sky
trees’ soothing presence,
flowers’ beauty galore,
colours everywhere
a feast for your eyes

the texture of
grass, sand, sea and river,
under your feet
 
birds’ chitter-chattering,
their wings fluttering,
swishing, swooping or
silently riding
an airstream

and as if that wasn’t enough,
a deep well of stillness
filling your every cell
to overflowing,
magnified by
a touching of gentle souls
at the cow shed..

tasting life in slow motion,
you know
in your bones
grace abounds
all round

When I
once again
stopped looking
outside myself
and re-membered
the radical
experience
that love
is what’s left
when I let go
of everything
that I am not

and allowed myself
to welcome
the inherent
basic goodness
of simply being
here

I found beauty
and belonging
and connection..
I found love

in the blackbird
feeding worms
to her nearly fully grown
baby, right by my
hands in the soil

in the picnic on a beach
with a friend,
under the pinks, reds
and oranges
of a summer solstice
sunset sky

in this warm soft body
awake and aware
of the first little
chortles of a tui
heralding a new
sun-rise

and in every
breathing
living
thing

Soft pinks
Powder blues
Yellows, whites and grey
Shifting, sliding,
Subtly but
Unmistakably
Changing
Into a canvas
Of fiery ribbons
And layers
Against which the
Birds’ end of day
Chattering
Slowly peters out
Then suddenly drops away..

And all that’s left
Is colours
And stillness
And soft open
Peacefulness..
And life
Is good

Being and doing well together
in the time of lockdown two..

out of rhythm
with old familiar
patterns of living life
together
that now
seem to be
ripping us apart at the seams,
in spite of finding ourselves
as a team of 5 million
thrust into an
altogether different
experience of togetherness

previously unappreciated
apparent freedoms
to be who we are / I am
and do what we want / I want,
take an unfamiliar
but familiar turn
(‘cos we know lockdown
by now, right?)
when we are thrown
back on our own
resources,
or lack of them,
into our own
sometimes solitary
bubbles

showing up
where our
togetherness
seems to be
a myth,
showing up
where and why
this being and doing
well together
seems to be
an urgent call
to slow down,
to show up and listen
to notice with care
to respond with kindness,
and welcome
ourselves,
our family and friends,
our neighbours
our communities
and our planet
to truly
be well
together
and be the well
together
for each other

On opening
the black box
to find who I am
in climate change
I see light…
light, warm
love

flowing, swirling, radiant
from the still point
of the universe to
every corner
crevice, hollow
every plant, animal
human being
every living thing
it touches

I trust
knowing
this is the ultimate
truth
of our being
here,
the only thing
that matters
what ever
happens
here

28/10/2021

What does it take
to form a new
life’s work
by feeling my way
into making
new connections
in social,
environmental
and neural
networks..?

What does it take
to create
a new
life’s work,
after so many years
of running familiar
circuits
of toeing the line
being drawn by
an establishment,
a replaceable
element
in a lumbering
hierarchy of systems
and things?

What does it take
shaping
a new
life’s work
by facing
a never ending
maelstrom of
determination,
fear, excitement
inspiration,
feelings of
incompetence,
insignificance, purpose,
overwhelm, trust..
energetic impulses
fizzling out into
blank nothingness,
then again
an unmistakable,
unwavering
sense of
support from within
and knowing
from beyond
my everyday world?

From feeling a bounce
in every step
to dragging my feet
through the treacle
of a dread of failure
From feeling carried by
angels
to deadened
by a leaden
blanket of
inertia,
especially
especially
when awake
for hours
in the middle of
the night?

So long
it’s been calling,
beckoning
whispering me along
like a siren
through the mists of time
and life,
an abiding presence,
irresistible
in the end..

I could not
have imagined
what it would take,
how long it
would take me

still here I am,
step
after wavering
quivering
yet exciting
step
creating
the path,
by slowly
walking it,
cheered on
by friends,
creating
a new reality
by gingerly
living it,
in a world
that’s feeling
crazier,
that’s calling
more urgently
that’s looking
more beautiful,
day
by day.

A break in the rain,
clouds have parted
sun warming the air
and I’m out the door.

Seed trays checked
making sure
all is well

Seedling box oozing
health and vitality
in the power-house
of home made
potting mix

Pottering,
tidying,
moving slowly-rotting
logs from here
to there:
a new path edging
ready to share
its multitudes
of microbes
all around
 
Weeding buttercup
from everywhere,
the mulched moist soil
letting go slowly
but willingly now

Pruning the flowering
buzzing tagasaste
ready for a hot compost
build when the time
is right,
while creating space
and light
for the blueberry bushes
humming in their
new spot

Finding
a better home
for the clivias
by the fence
uncovers the miracle
of the living earth..

Body zinging
with joy
as it is touched
by the soul of
soft crumbly
rich dark brown
sweet soil
after
a year-long
transformative magic
of a no-dig layered
compost
experiment…

Back to
the easy relaxed
rhythm
of a spring afternoon
in the garden
alive and
at peace

Here is a poem I wrote some time ago. The topic of how we tend to live our lives through our stories came up with a friend, and we ponder the question: is it possible to live life ‘beyond’ stories? Interested to hear your thoughts when you read this.

I will tell
No.    more.
Stories
Justifying
Shoring support
Painting
My righteous
Picture of
My
Love
Grief
Joy
Pain

Let me
Feel
What I feel
Cry when I
Need to
Rage when
My cells feel
Shredded
When pain
Descends
Unbidden
Unwanted
Ripping apart the
Painstakingly repaired
Crafted
Fabric
Of my
Life

Let me
Feel
What I feel
Smile
When I want to
Laugh
Absorb
And share the
Sheer
Joy and
Awe
The radiant
Glow
When love and
Gratitude
Visit
Just as
Unbidden,
But wanted
Enriching
Many-fold
The graced
Fabric
Of my
Life

I will tell
No      more  
Stories
To claim
Any passing
Thing

23/11/19