A new life’s work

What does it take
to form a new
life’s work
by feeling my way
into making
new connections
in social,
environmental
and neural
networks..?

What does it take
to create
a new
life’s work,
after so many years
of running familiar
circuits
of toeing the line
being drawn by
an establishment,
a replaceable
element
in a lumbering
hierarchy of systems
and things?

What does it take
shaping
a new
life’s work
by facing
a never ending
maelstrom of
determination,
fear, excitement
inspiration,
feelings of
incompetence,
insignificance, purpose,
overwhelm, trust..
energetic impulses
fizzling out into
blank nothingness,
then again
an unmistakable,
unwavering
sense of
support from within
and knowing
from beyond
my everyday world?

From feeling a bounce
in every step
to dragging my feet
through the treacle
of a dread of failure
From feeling carried by
angels
to deadened
by a leaden
blanket of
inertia,
especially
especially
when awake
for hours
in the middle of
the night?

So long
it’s been calling,
beckoning
whispering me along
like a siren
through the mists of time
and life,
an abiding presence,
irresistible
in the end..

I could not
have imagined
what it would take,
how long it
would take me

still here I am,
step
after wavering
quivering
yet exciting
step
creating
the path,
by slowly
walking it,
cheered on
by friends,
creating
a new reality
by gingerly
living it,
in a world
that’s feeling
crazier,
that’s calling
more urgently
that’s looking
more beautiful,
day
by day.

Spring afternoon in the garden

A break in the rain,
clouds have parted
sun warming the air
and I’m out the door.

Seed trays checked
making sure
all is well

Seedling box oozing
health and vitality
in the power-house
of home made
potting mix

Pottering,
tidying,
moving slowly-rotting
logs from here
to there:
a new path edging
ready to share
its multitudes
of microbes
all around
 
Weeding buttercup
from everywhere,
the mulched moist soil
letting go slowly
but willingly now

Pruning the flowering
buzzing tagasaste
ready for a hot compost
build when the time
is right,
while creating space
and light
for the blueberry bushes
humming in their
new spot

Finding
a better home
for the clivias
by the fence
uncovers the miracle
of the living earth..

Body zinging
with joy
as it is touched
by the soul of
soft crumbly
rich dark brown
sweet soil
after
a year-long
transformative magic
of a no-dig layered
compost
experiment…

Back to
the easy relaxed
rhythm
of a spring afternoon
in the garden
alive and
at peace

No more stories

Here is a poem I wrote some time ago. The topic of how we tend to live our lives through our stories came up with a friend, and we ponder the question: is it possible to live life ‘beyond’ stories? Interested to hear your thoughts when you read this.

I will tell
No.    more.
Stories
Justifying
Shoring support
Painting
My righteous
Picture of
My
Love
Grief
Joy
Pain

Let me
Feel
What I feel
Cry when I
Need to
Rage when
My cells feel
Shredded
When pain
Descends
Unbidden
Unwanted
Ripping apart the
Painstakingly repaired
Crafted
Fabric
Of my
Life

Let me
Feel
What I feel
Smile
When I want to
Laugh
Absorb
And share the
Sheer
Joy and
Awe
The radiant
Glow
When love and
Gratitude
Visit
Just as
Unbidden,
But wanted
Enriching
Many-fold
The graced
Fabric
Of my
Life

I will tell
No      more  
Stories
To claim
Any passing
Thing

23/11/19

Transformation Valley

When the soft whisper
of truth
hides too readily
under a blanket of
habit
discomfort and
grief

when it gets lost
too easily
in the cacophony
of familiar stories,
and in the searching
for answers
and solutions,

it takes
all I can muster
to stop

to sit
with the chaos.

it takes
time
and space

and allowing myself
to feel immobilised,
anaesthetised
and paralysed,

it takes
courage
to remember
to slow down
to let this gordian knot
just    
be…

for as long
as it takes trust
to let it
slowly soften
relax
start loosening
and opening up
enough
to allow
some light
and love
and wisdom
into the centre
that’s been
expertly hidden
for too long

When the soft whisper
of truth
can finally
reveal it is
actually
an opportunity,
a breakthrough,
no…
a clarion call
for new action,

heart and mind
are ready to open
and practise
being and
doing
well
together
in a wholly
and radically
transformed,
new way

Only when we stop and listen

Symphony of a little stream (only when we stop and listen)

It’s only
when we stop
sit down and
listen,
we notice
the soft, delicate
tinkling
and gurgling
of a little stream
its harmonies
on surround sound
from different
directions at once

Quiet
Peaceful

Intensified
by the sparkling tune
of a little bird
flying by
occasionally

Briefly distracted
by an insect’s
buzz
near my ear

Back to the music
of the stream

Still
Peaceful

It’s only when we stop
and listen
we notice
a breeze adding
a soft swishing
to the sweet
stillness
of the little stream’s
quiet glorious symphony

Blissful
Delight

Reworked from “Symphony of a little stream” on the TA (day 38, Feb 2016)

27/04/2021

Coming of age

Deeply rested
At last,
Refreshed
Renewed
Revitalised

After walking
for days on end
through windstill valleys,
on ridges and hillsides,
carried on wings of sparkling clean,
fresh forest breath,
powered and reset
time and time again,
by breathtaking grand landscapes
that feed legs,
heart, lungs
and spirit
pulsing with life and
anticipation
at the dawn
of a new
coming of age

Waterfalling on The Old Ghost Road

Waterfalling
falling
falling
clattering
sparkling
from rock
to mossy rock
down and
ever further
down

waterfalling
crisp
clear
cold
alive

Waterfalling
sometimes
you only hear
a gentle drumming,
then gushing
through gullies,
among ferns
around rocks
over boulders
and tree roots
gurgling
trickling
dripping
from tiny
mossy fingers

ever moving
touching
refreshing
every living cell
it meets
until they all join
in clarifying
unison

waterfalling
calling
urging me to
slow down

slow down

open every fibre
take in
savour
what this precious
earthy
moment
offers