Rainfall
Rockfall
Crashing waves..
Thoughts keep rumbling

Meanwhile
the blue sky
the heart of the earth
the deep of the ocean
Are still

Finally
I hear
the call…
my heart
at ease,
in sync
with silence

The joy of compost
Sweet smelling, soft and crumbly
rich abundant life

What will it take
to co-create a new world?

A world where I know
what’s good for all is good
for me
A world where I know
water, air and soil
as my body
A world where I know
it will take
remembering
to stop where I’m heading
at breakneck speed
even
to stop what I’m doing
right now

It will take remembering
To stop

To feel the earth
the trees
the sun, the rain
To dwell for a while
with all of creation
breathing
in every cell

It will take remembering
to stop and sit
to feel and hold
with love
the dormant seed
stirring
in body and soul
and take the next
small step
towards its
unfolding

only to remember
to do this again
and again
and
again

This year..
 
THIS year
ripping to shreds, then
weaving a new fabric
of everyday life;
familiar structures
of coping
stripped bare
more than
a few times,
hard to recognise
the depths of
what
    your
         body
               knows
in this moment

You remember
once again
the time
has come,
each day
a new beginning,
to open
to make room
for a warm and welcome
space
for all of life
to share itself
to have a place at the table
of the whole intimately
interconnected and
multidimensional
raw and fierce
divinity of it all

Turning your body
into a warm and welcome
launching and landing pad,
from which to live
and return
to the fullness
of your precious life,
for the benefit of everything,
from the micro-organisms in the soil
to the micro-particles in our communal soul(s)

This year
nearing the end
of its messy
unpredictable life..

Giving thanks
for the wild,
transformative
ride..

Listen
for your future..
it’s already
softly humming
in the background
Look with tender eyes,
you’ll see it
shimmering
on the far edges
of your aliveness

waiting for you
to live into
the shape and texture,
the expression
and fullness
of your life
 
Waiting for you
to live into
the wondrous mix
of stardust,
gathering,
growing already
to form you,
waiting
for the spark to ignite
and for your future
started long ago,
to burst into
the light..

26/09/2020

In the cauldron
of 2020
under stress
from remnants of grief,
from all things covid,
uncertain, changeable,
cut off at the knees
from everything familiar

under stress
from looming environmental disaster,
from exposed predators in toxic
systems,

under stress
from called out white
privileged power
and fragility,
and from stowaway bedbugs,
AND a litter of cute baby
mice suddenly
running “amuck”
in my house (to top
this little
package off)…

under the weight
of this….
blow after
ongoing shake-up,
the dragon of old trauma
awakens,
revealed by vapours
emerging from the deep..
volcanic bubbles of
irritability,
anger
even an occasional
geyser of rage
spouting into the daylight,
bursting through
the care-fully,
tightly, woven cloak
of compassion and kindness,

this serpent of secrets
no longer invisible and hidden
in the depths and privacy
of the mind
no longer only known
in embarrassment
shame and
guilt…

It’s in this great mix
of life at this time,
that the Great Mother
arrives at my door
unbidden,
announces herself

a persistent presence,
demanding attention,
inviting me
to extend
a wholehearted, full
and warm welcome
to her love, care and kindness,
generosity,
her creativity and passion,
and…

to extend
the same
wholehearted, full
and warm welcome
to the power
of her devouring
and serpentine sharpness,
fiery fury
her seductive and
destructive powers

showing me,
urging me
to beckon it all in,
becoming one seen,
respected and
welcome
transmuted
integrated whole,

creating
bit by bit
an unstoppable
harnessed
creative force
for good

20/07/2020

Stepping out
into a balmy late
autumn night
the air
and the earth still moist
from the day’s
rain,

I’m stopped in my tracks

I can almost taste
the sweet, rich,
earthy scent
all around me,
alive and present again
to my afternoon’s garden work
         hands covered in soil
         sprinkling a web of
         home-made magic
         compost
         over and around every
         bed and tree,
         rain in my hair,
         part of the elements
         in my element!
         dusky, darkening light
         nudging the day along,
standing outside my back door now
my body knows
it’s done what it is meant to do.

Finally
the earth around my
feet and in my heart
is singing,
its joy
accompanying me
home

An ‘unwelcome back’
to a cloud upon waking,
in this topsy-turvy
lockdown time..
but this time you
try to stop seeking explanations, finding reasons,
healing pain.

Give it space
Let it rest, while
it takes you by the hand,
if you are still enough
to notice
that fleeting glimpse,
just caught it
in the bathroom this morning,
just then..
 
It takes you on a breath
to the place,
to this moment
when you know
the running has to stop,
when answers don’t cut it anymore,
when you know that even looking for answers is
looking in the wrong direction.

This is the time for questions.
Questions taking you all the way
to the place of your deepest
not knowing
Questions taking you to the place
where you know
that you are
One.
From where
  you will know
        the only
               one step
                      you need
                            to take
                                    right now

Welcome back
to this cloud of unknowing

14/05/2020

Once again
The moment dawns:
There’s no escape.
No way
To distract
To flee, to struggle,
Strive,
To justify, explain
To soothe or smooth
The dazzling truth
As large as life itself
Just hiding under
a blade of grass
In full view
On the wide open field*

How many more times
Will you need to land
Here
With a thump
As if it was the most
Startling new realisation?

This life is clearly
Not one of a
Swirling
Social butterfly
Wishing to draw in the
Followers to
Create hyper
Abundant
Status
Wealth and
Admiration

This life
Your life is to
Be found
In the earth
in the stardust
Right under and
Part of
Your feet

This life is
Learning
Loving
What the soft animal
Of your body
Loves**

03/05/2020

*in memory of my childhood best friend, who did and said exactly that in a game of hide and seek (after I had not been able to find her)

**with gratitude and reference to Mary Oliver’s poem “Wild geese”

Doors closing
Closed
Everywhere
Inside, outside, between
Even the open ones
Not seen

A hush settles
On the landscape
It soothes
The frantic
Toxic pace of
Life as it was

It settles
My inner space
Like a welcome reprieve
Relief
Refuge for a while
Finding a restorative
Rhythm
More in tune with
The natural
Order of things

Brain slowly
Starts tuning in
Then suddenly
Turning into
Long-haul flight mode
In limbo, blank
Seemingly little bumps
Take on
Treacherous
Proportions

A random procession
Of soundbites
Sightbites
Lack-of-human-touch-bites
Abandonment, not-met-bites
Passing through
The system in holding mode
Fluffing up
Reactions
Like feathers
In a breeze
Rolling pebbles in a stream
An occasional
rumbling boulder in a flooded
Waterfall

Pause..

Come to ground
Start again
Once again
Start close in
Sit

Listen

Be still

Listen
With everything
You have
Feel the silence inside
The silence outside
And know
No boundary
Know
To take the first step
Only

Take the first step only if
It follows
Your heart

(With deepest gratitude to David Whyte whose poetry helped me to land, to touch down once again
in the one
And only place
From where I can
Take a new step
Into a new world
Each one
New moment
At a time)

18/04/2020