Sitting at the lily pond
At the end of a
Hot
Full day
Of being

Hearing the soft humming
Of bees
The faintest little
Plip-plops of the goldfish
Blowing bubbles

Gentle smile
Soft belly
Tender heart

08/01/19

Nothing short of divine
Joy like a pearl
Tumbling down from
The top
Till it joins its
Clattering
Splattering
Family
In the clear
Cold pool
Below

Joy bursting
From the heart
No words,
Full to
Overflowing

This magic waterfall
Showering its
Eternal grace,
Cascading over sharp
Hard rocks,
All the while forming
Its natural
Utter beauty
On its way
Down

Fierce love indeed

09/01/19

(With thanks and deepest gratitude to the two women who joined me here)

Settling into
Being here
Now

Open heart
Open mind

Extend a warm welcome
To all that’s here
This moment
    Sit
     Walk
     Rest
    Breathe
     Feel

Soft body
Soft heart
Open attention
Here
Now

That’s all

All senses open
Breath, heart, soft open and kind
Present and content

Feeling my body
Soft vulnerability
Kindhearted welcome

Receive grace’s gift
Gift of life with every breath
With every heart-beat

Receive nature’s gift
The gift of authority
For your unique life
My story starts now

Attune to your heart
Attend to what you most love
Insight will arise

I’m here, this moment
Heart beating, breathing, conscious
Total mystery

“This is what I want to
stay alive for”
Words tumbling out
On the cliffs
Above Bethells Beach
Deeply affected
By the beauty
Of the place..
In search of healing
After surgery
Sixteen years ago

How can a mother
Facing her own mortality,
Say THAT?

Repeating the story
A number of times
In spite of myself,
In safe company only,
As if hearing it
One more time,
As if the honesty
Of the telling

Might lift the veil
Of bewilderment
And shame..
Might shine the light
Of insight..
Might redeem my
Parenting,
Somehow

This time
Sixteen years on
Infused by love
Of nature’s beauty
The story surfaces
Once again
Feeling the puzzling
Truth of it
Once more

Slowly understanding dawns

Wanting to stay alive
For this..

Feeling
The zinging
Raw beauty,
The absolute
Truth
Of Nature
Elating
Every cell

Let the truth
Of this
Moment
Show itself
In stillness

No more talking

Let the ongoing stream of chatter
In your head slowly peter out
Come to a standstill
Join the silence

No more
Words

Listen…

‘Alone at this time’…
Unleashes the weight
Of culture
Conditioning
Tradition
Expectation
Guilt
Discomfort
Within and
Around me
There seems to be
A need to explain
Justify
Reassure
Soothe
Myself

There’s the reality
Of family
Not around
I should have been there
But I’m not

There’s the reality of friends
Embedded in theirs –

“You’re welcome to join mine”
Holds no appeal
This year

There’s my reality of Christmas as
‘The dawning of new light’,
In the middle of Summer
Deeply
Not making any sense

There’s another reality
Of just another day
In the blazing glory
Of ‘The Christ
As the universe’

Just another day
In the blazing glory
Of being human
Intricately
Interconnected
With everything

If only
I can see it
Remember it
From moment
To moment

What is this life
But a temporary inhabiting
Of a shell of flesh and bones
Creating memories
Pleasant unpleasant

Living Wonder
Excitement
Hope
Love

Living fear
Anxiety
Despair

Connection
With the big view
Connection
With others
Compromised
Feared
Wanted
Oh wanted
With every cell

But what am I wanting?
What do I think
Isn’t here already?

My *thinking*
I’m withdrawing
I’m afraid
I’m in love
I’m sad
I’m confused
I must DO something
Significant…
Is what’s separating me
From the fullness
The vibrancy
Connection
And love
That always
Already is
Everywhere

Once more on my way
At thirty thousand feet
For thirty three hours
To say goodbye
Will I make it in time… ?

But the real work
Already more than done
At our last
Farewell

Those few minutes
In the endless
Warmth

Of your eyes
That were drinking in
Every last drop
Of me

Of your hands
That kept caressing,
Not wanting to forget,
Every last little touch
Of me

Of your heart
That overflowed
Enveloping
Drowning me
And you and me
And you
With love

More than done
More
Than
Enough

Today I am soft
Soft centre
Soft skin
Gentle words
Kind actions
Tenderly wrapping
Fear and pain
In an embrace
Till they too
Soften
And dissolve
Into pliable
Soft
Resilience